It’s amazing how much can happen in such little time. It reminds me that tomorrow could change everything. Hell for that matter, my entire life could change an hour from now.
The more I stay here in New Orleans, the more I realize about myself and what I want long term, for myself, for my future. Last year was supposed to be the year of change. And change there was. Just not so much in a good way. This year everything is changing again, but it feels like it’s at a very rapid pace. Maybe it’s because things are changing day to day.
Within the last month, I’ve been to Key West, Pensacola twice, quit a job, been fired from the same job, been begged to stay and promoted…? Had the balls to end something with somebody for good, maybe start something new with somebody else instead of falling back into familiar patterns, hurt myself, been hurt by others, and hurt others.
I’ve thought about leaving New Orleans for good more times then I can count. I’ve wondered where I could or even would go and truth be told I’m not sure. I would like to focus instead on what to do rather then where to go.
I know I want to write. I know I want to travel. A person thats very special to me suggested video blogging. Traveling and video taping how my trip goes. Oddly enough not once did I think about doing that on any of the three trips to Florida I’ve been on. That probably should’ve been high up on the priority list. I even bought the damn camera.
I also know that one day I might like to get married. Maybe one day I would like to have kids. Or maybe just more dogs. I know that I am slowly but surely and severely getting over bartending and the bar business as a whole, and once I let it all go I will never look back at it.
I also know that first on my list of things to do is to get back to me. Who I am. I need to get back to dressing nicely, and getting out of the quarter. Going to a mall. Going to eat at chain restaurants. Reading more. Writing as much as I used to. Venturing towards this video blogging idea.
I’m over it. I’m over last year. I’m ready to start me again. So onwards. On to happiness. On to me and better things!!!
This is usually the kind of thing I would write after a few months, not after one.
beboppin along 