Waking up today to the news that one of my favorite celebrities/people had died wasn’t exactly the way I wanted to start the day. And as soon as I thought those words to myself I realized how selfish they were. Especially since he apparently didn’t want to wake up at all.
Obviously I didn’t know him personally but this was a man that I have idolized since I was a child. Sounds odd that a child would think so highly of such a character. He talked openly about his addictions, his struggles, and where he came from but I didn’t see any of that. I saw his strong sense of self, his sarcasm, his ability to adapt to different cultures, traditions, and people with such fluidity that in my eyes he simply had to be admired, revered even.
Reading and and watching so much about him throughout my life, my opinion of him has only gone up. I thought he was a genius and oddly enough a true lover of life. I could watch “No Reservations” or “Parts Unknown” on repeat and never tire of it. I could sit here and wonder what led to his decision but I think that would almost be disrespectful as it was HIS decision. Not to mention he talked openly about considering suicide in his past.
It does however make me wonder how many other people are considering. How many other people I look up to, admire, revere even, are currently or have considered suicide. If you are reading this, know that I am here to listen, to talk, to vent to, cry to, or just try and understand. I won’t judge. I won’t call you selfish as so many people seem to jump to that.
I also encourage you to get back to you. To the things you love. The people you love. To take care of you.
So today I will honor myself by getting back to writing. Writing makes me feel the most like me. If I learned one thing from a man that I never met but would have given anything to have a meal and a conversation with, it was to live unapologetically and with yourself in mind. So Thank you for that lesson Anthony Bourdain. Thank you for reminding me and hopefully many others that there is joy in life if we simply go get it. Rest well. Thank you for gracing us with your time and your genius. You certainly left your mark on the world.